Sunday, June 28, 2009

The man in the mirror

Stunned and saddened by the news of the untimely passing of some of pop cultures most notable icons last week had me thinking about the importance of leaving behind a legacy. Michael Jackson IS and will always be the King of Pop, Farrah Fawcett had the hair, and Billy Mays...well, wasn't he the Oxyclean guy? Whether their claim to fame is their music, their look, or their persona- the indisputable fact is years from now when my 3 year old god-daughter, Ava rocks out at her senior prom and the beat to Billie Jean starts playing- moonwalking will still be relevant. Hey, I proudly admit to busting out some Thriller moves when the mood strikes! (or if i've had 1 too many mojitos)

All this leaves me wondering about my own legacy. Inherently a perfect mother and wife...there's really not much room for improvement there. But, in the bigger scheme of things- what will the world remember me for? After watching hours of rockumentaries and E! true Hollywood stories, i've come to the conclusion that leaving a legacy whether it affects few or many; and whether it's a positive or negative, often takes a true commitment and devotion to one's vision. The effort is tireless and the work ethic is fierce. The truth is that success doesn't happen overnight. DAMN! 

And to that sentiment...i commit to working everyday on my legacy. Perhaps we'll all find out at the same time once i've figured it out!! And you? What shall i remember you for? Do tell...

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

We had a moment...

At the Side Street Inn on a random Saturday night in December, a few of my co-workers and I rang in the holidays with a long overdue get together. Tucked away in the back of the restaurant, 4 long tables of QMC employees stuffed their faces full of SSI's signature pork chops, fried rice, and poke. There were many games to be played, pictures to be taken, and an obscene amount of alcohol to be consumed. Crown and coke anyone? 

As anyone from Hawaii can testify, the party doesn't REALLY get started until you turn that karaoke machine on. So for $1/song and with the use of what looked like a 13 inch tv, Ricky Martin's classic, "She bangs" hit the sound system and suddenly a roar of laughs, screams, and obscenities overtook the room. While our group was thoroughly amused, i could see that other non party going patrons were less enthused by what one diner called noise pollution. Eventually, our mood settled as the strum of a light guitar began to play and Extreme's 1991 metal ballad, "More than words" cued up on the mini screen. In an instant, our entire room began to belt out the lyrics with so much emotion and conviction that you'd think they wrote the song themselves. On this particular night- i remember scanning the room and reminding myself to live in this exact moment. I sat across the table from my friend, Pros who had an uncanny resemblance to my uncles back in Jersey and for reasons unbeknownst to him, somehow made me feel closer to home. We caught each others eye as we sang "then you wouldn't have to say that you love me, 'cause i already know." That was the last time we saw each other until i got the news today that he passed away. 

While i generally try not to give advice, at least not overtly, tonight i tell you this...be present in your moments- you may just have the ability to touch someone's heart, heal someone's homesickness, or make someone smile. 

Rest in peace Pros

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words
Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words 

Sunday, June 7, 2009

My, my...how you have grown!

My daughter took her Chemistry final on Thursday and with the drop of her pen, she officially ended her junior year of high school. With a trip to the county championships in volleyball, a red hot pursuit for a Division 1 scholarship, and more fluctuations in emotions, friends, and grades than you can keep track of...she and WE say buh-bye to the 11th grade. Soon after, i received an FB post from a friend asking if i was ready for senior year.  "Sure, why not?" i say.  Then, a sinking feeling...the 13th grade doesn't exist (at least not for my kid, it doesn't!!) As i delve further into the future i imagine a life void of teenage angst, eye rolling, pleas for prom dresses that cost more than a car payment, and curfews that "just aren't fair." And for all of you with small children who think, "no- not my precious angel"- I have two words: just wait. 

Don't get me wrong, parenting has been the highlight of my adult life and despite the roller coaster of ups and downs- i couldn't fathom a more rewarding challenge. The years have flown by so quickly that my own high school graduation was nearly 20 years ago. (though you really couldn't tell by looking at me) With the reality that life moves at an exponential pace and some day soon, my husband and I will officially become empty nesters- i say to all the tears, joys, moving violations, straight A's, and excuses...bring it! For we will never have these days again. 

So, am i really ready for senior year? Sure, why not...

 

 


Friday, June 5, 2009

20/20 Foresight

After many years of serious physical activity aversion and clearly a nasty case of mid life metabolism slow down, i finally came to the realization that carbs and INactivity are the ultimate frenemy. Alas! When something tastes really, really good (penne a la vodka) and feels equally as good (curling up in bed with the Bravo channel) chances are 2 more pounds have just settled nicely into the mid-section/thigh area.

So, i've made a conscious effort to start adding things to my life that have normally been painful for me like, reading books and maintaining my employers' 3x/month mandatory gym requirement. I've been better about being on time, packing lunch from home, and telling my husband how much he's appreciated. All of which take an incredible amount of dedication considering the immense attitude adjustment required. So far, in the 72 hours that i've committed to "the new and improved les"- a sense of freedom and a fresh breeze has blown into my once tainted outlook. I suppose that years of avoidance tactics and an unwavering defensiveness towards an uber comfortable and sedentary lifestyle kept me stuck in the past but with a clean slate- I only look forward to looking forward and never looking back. What are you holding on to? do tell...

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Ainokea

In a couple of weeks, i'll be heading back to Jersey for a mini summer vacay. Since relocating to Hawaii, my trips back east are jammed packed with places to go and people to see. I literally overbook my schedule and have been known to eat all three meals with different people, indulge in a late night cocktail, and then drive down to Atlantic City with my slots addicted mother and her fabulous Black Card. Personally, i have zero interest in gambling, however, room service and Presidential Suites at swanky hotels are more than enough to put my menial feelings aside. Like I always say...family first, right? Especially when little comp cards get you deluxe spa treatments and entrer' into celebrity chef restaurants. 

At the end of every trip while boarding the flight back to Oahu, partially hung over, completely sleep deprived, 5 pounds heavier, and feeling an incredible sense of satisfaction for sticking to the itinerary- I do always wish for one thing, and that's for more time. It's an incredible desire to want to turn the clocks back, add a few more hours, or stop it all together but time never seems to want to cooperate. So, while my method of triple booking does nothing to combat raccoon eyes and drinking copious amounts of wine for 5 days straight only further hinders the health of my liver, i figure this...I'll do enough sleeping when i'm gone but for now...I do what i like. What do you wish you had more of? Do tell...